Even though I haven’t been able to eek out a piece every day during this 30-day writing challenge, I have written most days, and I consider that a success, considering I had stopped writing altogether for a few months. On the days I don’t write, like yesterday, I really have to work at not admonishing myself. I’ve always set the bar high as far as my own goals are concerned, and though they’re realistic for the most part, the fact remains that there are a certain number of hours in the day and only so much can be accomplished. 

So when a former ESL student emailed, asking if I could tutor her in English so that she might be able to get a job, one of the first thoughts I had was, “Now when am I going to fit this in?” My mind was off to the races! I thought of the time involved in planning; for every 3-hour class at the community college, I spent at least that much time preparing. And then there was the time spent afterwards reviewing the writing journals I asked my students to keep. I have a tendency to over-do.

That is evident in my daily routine; though I consider myself on sabbatical, I do not lack for things to do to occupy my days. My have/want “to do” is never ending, ensuring that being bored is never an issue. So, after my mind crunched the numbers of “time involved,” it went on to obsess on trivial things like what day/days we should meet and how much compensation I’d ask for. After all, she did say that she’d pay for lessons.

And that is when I had to stop and think. Really think. What was my time worth? When I viewed time in terms of money, that threw an almost distasteful aspect to the basic request of, “Please help me with my English.” I almost felt ashamed…

And that’s when the mind-shift happened.

I thought about the best way to learn a language; it’s through conversation. Something that’s effortless for me. Something I do on a daily basis, on a myriad of subjects, with an assortment of characters. I have been blessed with the gift of gab, after all. When I looked at it like that, just meeting with Dora at a certain time each week and simply talking was all that needed to happen. It would be simple. 

As of this is to say that my mind can take me to places I don’t have to go. I made a mountain out of a molehill and I hadn’t even met with the woman to find out her needs. I’m so grateful for the mind-shift and especially for the awareness that I can so easily backslide into selfish, self-centered thinking, something I’m trying to correct. 

I’m actually looking forward to our meeting this afternoon. I have no plans, no script. It will be enough.